Saying goodbye to a pet

I have been an animal owner most of my life. 
Death is as basic as life; if you have life, you have to expect death at some point. I have lost count of all of the cats and dogs our family has said goodbye to over the years.  Various ailments and circumstances have caused the death of animals that we embraced as family members. Each and every animal had its own unique God-given personality that we would appreciate. As we had been given the responsibility for their lives, we had to be responsible, also, for the care and decisions that needed to be made on their behalf at any time in their lives. 


Our recent loss in January of our dog of almost 8 years has become one of the most difficult losses I have had to experience. Since we have been "empty nesters" for a few years, he and our cats have been our primary focus on the home front.  Our boy was an Alaskan Malamute/Australian Kelpie cross (as near as we could ascertain with my knowledge of dog breeds) and stole our hearts the moment we met him. He was giving, loyal, and very adaptable to our lives at any given point. His diagnoses in the end was lymphosarcoma; the cancer spread through his blood to every system in his body. He was healthy and quite able bodied until about the last 3 or 4 weeks of his life, and then we knew we couldn't let him suffer not knowing the extent of his pain or discomfort; we could only observe the diminished capacity of his regular activities. 

Each person experiences grief in their own way. For the first month, I thought I would never stop crying, and so many things would set me off without warning. After watching it a couple of weeks ago, I could relate to Diane Keaton in her very well acted role in "Something's Got to Give" where she has episodes of wailing while writing; mourning the loss of a new love in the character that Jack Nicholson plays. Of course, watching her, I had to hit "pause" on the remote and grab the box of Kleenex to let my eyes leak for a few minutes before continuing... It was at that time that I knew that recording my thoughts would help to heal my heart and record special memories of our dog that I wanted to treasure in the years to come. Journaling and writing has helped many people deal with their grief and loss.  C.S. Lewis, in "A Grief Observed" writes about the loss of his wife to cancer, and questions life, God, and many other things in his book.

Veterinary clinics are better equipped than they used to be in Grief Counseling, and staff members now take courses to help clients through the process. Cremation is available in most locations, as well as choices of urns or memorials to preserve the ashes and memory of a beloved pet.  It is always helpful to talk about your loss to friends and family who will empathize with your situation.  Many books are available dealing with pet loss and grief.  The Pet Therapy Society of Northern Alberta also has a special program available for those dealing with the loss of a pet. Visit http://www.pettherapysociety.com/programs/paws-to-remember/ to read their information about the group and the Pet Loss Support Line phone number to talk to someone about your loss.  And even though some thought I was a little "off", I decided to rent "Marley and Me" knowing full well that it had a sad ending. I own the book but didn't finish it last fall when I purchased it, so didn't know the details of the sadness.  However, knowing it was a true story, I applauded the director for the absolute realism of the euthanasia (sorry to give it away) of Marley at the end of the movie, knowing as an Animal Health Technologist and an animal owner that has experienced this process several times, you can't change the facts of how it works. But the process of how it works for the animal is that it is quick and painless, and we as owners can know that we have had to make the hardest decision (for us) to end the life of such a wondrous member of our family. But as they cannot talk, they can feel, and many have said, that animals know our hearts and know, in kindness, that we are acting on their behalf in the decisions that we make. Again, at this point in the movie, my own loss still very fresh, the tears flowed while the movie was paused for several moments. Not being a huge Owen Wilson fan over the years, I truly appreciated his dramatic acting in this movie and the depth of emotion that he showed for this crazy, destructive, but loyal family member in their dog Marley.  I was also happy to see the memorial scene where the children and the adults paid tribute to Marley each in their own way.


Hardest for me at first was going for walks alone, especially venturing out on the familiar routes and paths we took together.  Exercise can, however, be a welcome healer, and it allowed me to become very instrospective, and develop the spiritual, physical, and mental healing I needed. Now my walks have become a way to remember his uniqueness and moments such as reprimanding the deer and the moose that frequent the area where we live. There is the great realization of what a blessing he was in my life and in the life of my family and many, many people that he met in his very full life. He experienced city life, country treks and play dates with doggy friends, and so much more. He loved snow and would lay in it for hours. He loved to eat, and could have been a marketing agent for Dairy Queen ice cream cones...


It's good to know we are not alone in our experiences, and that animals have such a profound effect on humans in the vastness of this world. What wonderful companions they are! How they have changed, improved, saved, sustained our health and our lives. I am truly thankful for the life of our dog and the impact he has had on my life. He will not be forgotten.


"The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears" John Vance Cheney, US Poet